How do I get a girlfriend?
How do I get a girlfriend?
I was asked this question by a 14 year old boy. Remember that I work in an international school so I don’t get too caught up on the way they word the questions as sometimes it’s a simple language issue. (For example, I don’t love the use of ‘get’ here, but I understand what he means!)
*Ask yourself WHY you want a girlfriend (or partner-as this answer applies to everyone). Are you bored? Feeling lonely? Feel like all of your friends have one so you should too? Do you feel like you just ‘should’ have one because of all the messaging you get from the media or your family/culture? (Opportunity for a big discussion here!) Thinking about sex more than wanting to actually go out with someone?
If it is to fill any kind of emotional hole/dissatisfaction in your own life then be careful, because no one can fill that up apart from you! A new partner might be a distraction from your problems, but if they ever leave you will be right back where you started!
*If there is someone you already like, think about ways in which you can hang out more or be brave and ask them out straight away. If you are already friends, think about whether your friendship could take a rejection?
*Try to be patient, the more desperate we are for something, the more ‘desperate’ energy we give off, which can either be off putting to others or taken advantage of. What I mean by that is people (often older people when we are younger) can see the ways in which we are vulnerable very easily. They might not be doing it consciously even, however they can play off of your vulnerability or need to be needed/seen and *could* take advantage of that in a number of ways.
*Think about what you have to offer another person. Are you fun, active, curious, interested in different things, kind, honest etc? If you are not those things, then you probably will not attract a partner that is those things. The best way to attract a partner is to concentrate on living your best life! People will find that attractive and you will naturally end up surrounded by people who are interested in you. 👏 JUST BE YOURSELF 👏