How much do you know about perimenopause?

How much do you know about perimenopause? Like most things to do with ovary-owner’s bodies, there’s a huge lack of teaching and knowledge around this area. If you have ovaries, at some point you’ll go through the menopause, so it’s good to be prepared so you can identify what is going on within your own body. (Spoiler alert: menopause is not something that’s just going to happen to you in your 50s and all of a sudden you don’t get periods anymore!)
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Perimenopause means ‘around the time of menopause’ and refers to the time during which the body makes the natural transition to menopause. Many of the changes experienced during perimenopause are a result of decreasing oestrogen and progesterone. If you are experiencing menopausal symptoms but still having periods, then you are perimenopausal. You can expect to go through this “pre” menopausal stage for about four years; however, some can experience anything from a few months to 10 years of symptoms (!!) Perimenopause ends when there has been 12 consecutive months without having a period.
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To give you a rough guide, in the UK most begin to experience the symptoms of perimenopause in their mid 40s, with the average being 47. The average age of the menopause is 51 years; however, perimenopause or menopausal transition occurs in the years before periods stop. Interestingly, figures seem to vary by ethnicity and can be affected by lifestyle and where you live.
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Symptoms can be:
Irregular periods (common first sign), Hot flushes, Night sweats, Mood changes, Depression, Sleep changes, Vaginal dryness and changes in sexual function, Decreased libido, Urinary weakness, Weight gain, A fuzzy head and Joint pain.
Sounds fun, hey?! 🙄😳
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It’s a good idea to keep a track of your symptoms so you can understand your body and any changes that are happening. It’s also important to a find a good doctor who you feel comfortable with-so shop around if you have to!
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NOTE: Perimenopause is not the same as early menopause, which is when periods stop before the age of 40 years. Post menopause is once you’ve had a year since your final period.

(Sources: Patient.info/livi.co.uk)

Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PE) is where the penis owner ejaculates too quickly during sexual intercourse. What constitutes too quickly? Some define it as ejaculating in under a minute, others as the person with a penis feeling like they can’t control their ejaculation. Occasional episodes of PE are common and are not a cause for concern. However, if you’re finding that around half of your attempts at sex result in PE, it might help to get treatment.
💥There are an array of psychological and physical factors that can cause someone to suddenly experience PE, including: prostate problems, thyroid problems, using recreational drugs, depression, stress, relationship problems and anxiety about sexual performance.
(It’s possible, but less common, for someone to have always experienced premature ejaculation since becoming sexually active.)
Some facts:
⬆️you can learn to control ejaculation, similar to the way bladder control is learned at a young age.
⬆️While there can be psychological elements to PE, many cases are the result of an oversensitive glans penis, or head of the penis. This is called a low ejaculatory threshold.
⬆️Alcohol, cocaine, marijuana and antidepressants are NOT good ways to control premature ejaculation- While inhibition of ejaculation may be one side-effect of these drugs, other serious side-effects associated with such drugs must be taken into account. More often substance abuse causes erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, inability to orgasm, and other side effects.
⬆️Anesthetic sprays or creams available at sex shops are NOT good ways to control PE. (These products work rarely, if ever.)
⬆️More patients who have suffered from PE for long periods eventually develop erection problems than those who are able to control their ejaculation. Many times, PE is the first sign of Erectile Dysfunction.
⬆️It is often difficult to relax and enjoy the experience of love making if you are worried that ejaculation may occur too soon. Any problem that affects your self-image can have a negative impact on your confidence and ability to socialize.
💡 Communication/kindness/patience/reframing sex are all ways to work through PE (on your own or with partner/s)

Can your body be aroused if you’re not in the mood?

I was asked this question by a 12 year old. It is a very interesting one because there are a couple of ways of interpreting this.

1. The person is being flooded by hormones at this time in their life and so they may be experiencing unexpected erections or rushes of sexual feelings that are not connected to what they are thinking about or doing at the time. This is completely normal and will settle down after puberty.

2. Maybe they hear or see something online, in real life or on tv that stimulates their body and it surprises them.

3. It’s important to understand that if someone is being touched sexually in an abusive situation (maybe they are being groomed or coerced) then their body might react to the stimulus. If their body does this, it does not mean they are consenting to the situation, it is merely a physical reaction. We don’t want anyone to feel any feelings of shame or blame in this scenario.

This question, therefore, gives me a chance to bring up a serious topic with the class and watch for reactions and further questions. If I feel there is anything to be concerned about I would take it to my child protection officer.

How would you interpret this question and what answer would you give?

Why do we learn about puberty?

Why do we learn about puberty? This is a question I am often asked at the beginning of a sequence of lessons in new classes. I usually ask the other children if they can offer answers as I think it’s powerful for children to hear it from their peers, rather than me!

Answers include:
-so that you are prepared for physical changes that are going to happen to your body as you go through puberty
-so that you are prepared for emotional changes that will happen
-so that you’re not scared of these changes
-so you understand why these things are happening on a scientific/biological level
-to help you think about choices you can make to navigate these changes
-to help you see that you are not alone and that the changes you are going through (physical&emotional) are meant to be happening
-to help you understand what usually happens to bodies during puberty so that if anything else happens (or doesn’t happen) to you you can talk to someone about it (eg. If you don’t start your periods by the time you’re 16 you can go and see a doctor)
-so that you can use correct medical terms when talking about bodies
-to learn how to keep clean
-to understand what people with a different body to yours go through during puberty
-to be able to help yourself (and even others!) if you find yourself in a challenging situation
-to think about our values and opinions and how they might be changing as you mature

And I am sure there are others too!! On this post you can see that a few students commented that they learnt that some people have the same problems as them, which hopefully helped them feel less alone and more seen. This was after a lesson where we looked at ‘problem page’ style scenarios and discussed what advice we would give that person. That puts the students in the driving seat and hopefully will help them to use some of their advice for themselves if they are ever in a similar situation.

Why do I teach about puberty….BECAUSE ITS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO LEARN ABOUT AS IT AFFECTS US ALL!! (In my opinion 😃)

I don’t really feel female or male, what can I do?

“I don’t really feel female or male, what can I do?”was an anonymous question given to me at the end of a recent lesson. This class are at the start of their Secondary (high school) education and so are 12 years old. This is how I will approach answering this question:
1. I will start by revisiting the differences between anatomical sex/gender identity/gender expression (how you present to the outside world) and sexual attraction (google GENDERBREAD PERSON for a good visual)
2. I will ask-where do our ideas about gender come from? What messages does society give us with regards to gender? Why is it telling us these things? Why might it be challenging for people who see gender as binary to think about it more as a spectrum?
3. Gender isn’t binary -it’s a wide spectrum of identifying as male/female/neither/a bit of both and THAT’S OK! Other terms that are similar to ‘non-binary’ are gender-queer, gender expansive and gender nonconforming.
4. As you’re all aware, people use a range of pronouns to identify as, some non-binary people use they/them pronouns
5. Take your time with this, as we’ve discussed, society likes to impose a gender on you and so it takes bravery and strength to hold space for yourself and understand that it can take a while to figure things out
6. Talk to trusted friends and adults about your feelings -make sure you feel safe with these people
7. Find others that can support you and/or are possibly going through similar feelings. There are lots of trustworthy websites where you can find information and a community, and books in our school library
8. Whatever your gender identity or expression, you are a whole and complete human being just the way you are, worthy of love and respect 🙌💖

Reasons to delay sex in a healthy relationship

We know that teens and young adults who delay having their first sexual experiences often take less risks and have less regrets than those that start earlier. I discussed reasons why people in a healthy relationship might delay having sex and these are the answers the 14 year olds came up with:
❤️ Religious or cultural beliefs
🧡Waiting to have more of an emotional connection with the other person
💛Working on building trust first
💚 Just don’t want to
💙 Might be asexual
💜They don’t feel horny
🖤 Worried about STIs or pregnancy
🤍Too embarrassed to buy condoms
🤎Worried about having sex
❤️Don’t have a safe place to do it
🧡Feel that they are too young
💛 Too busy
💚On their period
💙Drunk / High
💜Parents don’t like your partner
🖤Medical reasons
🤍Want to make sure they’re not being used

I’d say that’s a fairly good list!

I believe that giving young people the chance to think about and discuss their opinions and listen to other people their age talk about these issues allows them to see that they are not alone; what other people are thinking and hopefully alleviates any pressure that they might be feeling to in any way rush into something physical. This is not about putting them off sex at all, it’s about allowing them to see that there can be many reasons why people wait and do not take the decision lightly to start sexual activity.