So this one is a sign of my age or the circles I hang out in-a (much younger!) friend talked about ‘unghosting’ the other day and I was taken aback. ‘What?’ I asked, ‘is unghosting a new way of saying communicating?!’
So of course I did a bit of research and realised people have been using this term for a while now. Here’s a few dating definitions for anyone in the same out-of-touch boat as me!
Ghosting-when someone disappears on you without any further communication. They completely withdraw from you and avoid any communication. Not only could this be a romantic partner, it could be a friend or even colleague
Unghosting-when someone who had previously ghosted you gets back in touch
Mooning-when you turn on the ‘Do Not Disturb’ on someone on your phone so you don’t get notifications when they message you
Breadcrumbing-someone who drops the occasional message, phone call or interaction. It’s sporadic and not followed up
Benching-when someone is dating you but isn’t 100% into it but doesn’t want to let you go. They’re sending a lot of mixed messages and you don’t know where you stand
Fading/slow fade-when someone has decided to end the relationship but isn’t being honest about it. They cut the other person out slowly, thinking that that’s a better option than just ending it
And what do all of these have in common? A complete lack of COMMUNICATION! It can be so easy to pull away from someone or cut someone off with devices that some people seem to have forgotten that there is a human being at the other end of the action who is left with many questions.
Eventually the person on the receiving end of the action will hopefully think they’ve had a lucky escape from someone not mature enough or kind enough to express how they are feeling in a respectful way, but it can still be very hurtful nevertheless, especially if you’ve known someone a decent length of time. If I get the chance, I’m going to talk to the older students about this soon and see their take on all of this. Is any of this behaviour seen as acceptable and reasonable?