Top Questions I Get Asked About Periods

When I begin lessons about periods I know I am going to get a barrage of questions about them. When you think about it, the science behind them can be a lot for a younger person to really grasp and then there’s all the emotional feelings involved, as well as any societal myths or taboos that need dispelling. Here’s how I answer some of the most common questions:
1. How will I know when I am going to start? Your body usually starts showing other changes associated with puberty before you start your periods, such as breast buds and vaginal discharge (maybe 1 or 2 years before)
2. Will they hurt? They could do! First of all remember that during your first year or so of periods you are going through menarche, which means you won’t get regular periods for a while and the amount of blood could be small. Some people suffer from period cramps. If you are suffering from pain rather than discomfort you should see a doctor and not accept that it’s a normal part of having a period. It takes a long time to get diagnoses for period related issues so be an advocate for your child or for yourself if the pain is getting in the way of normal daily life.
3. What if I start when I’m in the swimming pool? When you first start your period, that very first time will probably be such a small amount you wouldn’t even notice in the pool, and neither would anyone else. The blood would be diluted in the water.
4. Do they ever stop? Yes! When a person stops getting their periods (for 12 months) they go through something called menopause. This is not an overnight process, but takes a few years (on average 4-5) and there can be some side effects whilst the body is changing.

Timely vs Age Appropriate

I had the pleasure of delivering two workshops to parents a few weeks ago and an overarching theme was that parents were not sure what to teach and when. I speak a lot about what to teach here, but wanted to spend a moment looking at when!

It would be amazing to give a definite guide where on the day of a child’s birthday you know that it’s time to trot out the puberty talk, but unfortunately it’s not like that, is it?!

I like to use the word ‘timely’ instead of ‘age appropriate’ for 2 reasons:
1️⃣Children are all different and learn at different stages. What is right for one 7 year old is not necessarily right for another. Maybe your 7 year old has lots of older siblings or people around them and it feels right to get in there earlier with info that you want them to get from you and not from second hand sources.
2️⃣I’ve always felt that ‘age appropriate’ is some kind of catch all phrase that governments/schools (institutions mainly) say without any real understanding of s3x ed in order to cover their backs and give people a false sense of security-eg. We’ll talk about puberty when it’s age appropriate and then the schools themselves are left on their own to decide when that might be

If you’d like a rough guide, I’d say teach them the correct names for body parts from the beginning, use the word uterus when they ask about babies in tummies, talk about private and public parts and safe and unsafe touch as early as possible, answer in a scientific, matter of fact and shame free and simple way any time they ask about bodily functions and once they are around 7 or 8 you’ll start going into more detail about the changes associated with puberty. If you want to get in there before society/friends/older siblings when it comes to conception and sex, I wouldn’t leave it later than 11.

Of course, where I’ve mentioned ages it might be more TIMELY for your child to hear this stuff earlier. IF you are able to answer questions as and when they pop out throughout their early lives, talking about puberty and sex is going to be a natural progression from that. IF you are thinking, “oh my goodness, I’ve not done any of that and they’re X years old now” don’t panic! It’s never to late to introduce these topics. If you need help as to how, DM and I’d happily deliver a workshop to you and your parent friends to give you some pointers!