Asking someone why they are single can be exhausting for that person and make them painfully aware of society’s expectations that to be viewed as ‘successful’ in life you have to be with someone (and someone of the opposite sex for that matter!)

But how many times have you asked someone (or asked of yourself) “Why are you in a relationship?”

Could it be….
—because society/your family expects it of you?
—because society rewards you for being in a relationship-REGARDLESS of whether it’s healthy?
—because you don’t want to be alone?
—because your partner is a distraction?
—because being with someone ‘completes’ you?

Or…because you’ve found a genuine connection with someone or more than one person and you are choosing to share your time with them in a healthy and fulfilling way 💗

In terms of attitudes, society does not reward people who choose to be single or who are single because they just are. Yes, we are social animals but we are fed the idea of being partnered up/married as the holy grail since we are babies and it’s high time we all think carefully about these accepted norms. Do we truly want the relationships we are in or are we there because society expects it of us? Maybe the single person you are speaking to wants a relationship but isn’t in one at the moment. Everyone is different and has their own reasons for being/not being in a relationship.

And if you are a parent of a teen or young adult, think carefully about the messaging you might be sending or reinforcing to them if you ask them this question. It may sound obvious that they need to feel loved, valued and complete just for existing as themselves but how are you as parents reinforcing that message?

Let’s think a little more about how we speak to people and what we are really saying when we ask, “why are you single?”