Cisgender heterosexual men can feel a lot of pressure when it comes to sex. If you have concerns, have a look at this! Here are some things you might worry about and some (hopefully) helpful words of encouragement.

-Am I attractive enough?
The answer is probably YES! as the person has decided to sleep with you. So just think that they wouldn’t be there with you in the moment if they weren’t attracted to you.
-Is my body good enough? (Whatever ‘good’ enough might mean to you)
Remember that women understand the pressures society can place on you to look a certain way physically and they don’t want (or need) you to be The Rock!

-is my penis big enough/is it attractive enough/is it the right shape?
It is widely researched that men give much more thought to this than women. Try not to compare yourself to others, especially not to the unrealistic people you can see in porn. *Women are more concerned about how you treat them and the connection you have together (whether it’s purely physical or if it’s also emotional) than your penis*

-Am I lasting long enough?
Most women do not want to ‘pounded’ or even penetrated for a really long time. This is another pressure porn has placed on people. There are so many things you can do with your partner to have fun and give each other pleasure without the act of penetration. ‘Sex’ does not have to be measured from the moment of penetration until ejaculation, think about all of the other parts to sex.

-How do I give my partner an orgasm?
Ask! Communicate with each other and if that seems too daunting, try to pick up on verbal and physical clues as to what they are really enjoying. Remember clitoral stimulation is key for most vulva-owners and as annoying as this might sound, everyone is different so you do need to get to know your partner.

A lot of this could be addressed by clear communication from partners. The more reassuring noises/body language and verbal feedback you get, the more you understand what your partner is thinking and that could alleviate some of these worries.